Articles by Elizabeth Kupferman

Permission to Cry

I often hear people qualify their days after experiencing a death or other loss as good or bad based on whether or not they cried with the crying days being the “bad” ones. I don’t look at it that way. I see crying a good and positive thing and a healthy person’s response to emotional pain as well as a necessary part of the grieving process*. Continue reading →

It’s Not Time That Heals All Wounds

I will agree that we need time to grieve and mourn, but it is not time that does the job of healing. If we do not do the necessary grief work (accepting the reality of the loss, experiencing the pain, making the necessary adjustments and creating meaning from the loss), we will end up with what Alan Wolfelt calls “carried grief.” Carried grief is when you do not mourn your loss and take the pain with you into everyday of your life. Continue reading →

Choosing To Heal

Healing isn’t just something that happens. It’s not like one day you’re in dysfunction and the next day you’re not. You actually have to make the choice to do your personal growth work to heal. Continue reading →

Thoughts on Kübler-Ross’ Stages of Grief

In my work as a grief counselor, I have found that while many of my clients already know the stages of grief, it does not seem to be enough for them. The stages are something that happens to you. They aren’t something that can be controlled or predicted. Most people find that not only do the stages not occur in the “right order,” but more than one can be experienced at the same time and it is likely that one or more of them are not experienced at all. Continue reading →

Advice For Grieving Parents

You are living out one of most people’s greatest fear. This is why some of your closest friends or family might be acting standoffish or even disappear. They don’t mean to be mean or neglectful, but it doesn’t hurt any less. Many times they want to be there for you but simply don’t know how. However, if you let them, there are people in your life who can be there for you, champion you, stand by you and will not be afraid to talk about this or go through this fully with you. Continue reading →

Grief, Loss and Insidious Loneliness

One of the most painful aspects of the grieving process can be loneliness. We expect to be sad, but the feeling of loneliness has its own and subtly different kind of pain. It can be unsettling and scary. What you need to know is that you are not alone in feeling these feelings. They are quite common in women. Continue reading →

Feeling Like a Child After A Loss

One of the feelings that I find difficult to explain to my clients is the sense of “feeling little” following a devastating loss. This is the “childlike terror” mention in the quote – it’s like we struggle to stay our adult selves – we feel lost and alone. We feel scared. Continue reading →

Disenfranchised Grief

“Disenfranchised grief” is when your heart is grieving but you can’t talk about or share your pain with others because it is considered unacceptable to others. It’s when you’re sad and miserable and the world doesn’t think you should be, either because you’re not “entitled” or because it isn’t “worth it.” Continue reading →

Common Reactions to Grief

One of the comforting things about being human is that we are both completely unique AND quite the same. This is true with physiological processes (like a physical wound) and emotional processes (such as grieving). Continue reading →

Southlake/Colleyville therapist Elizabeth Kupferman is dedicated to helping women overcome depression, grief, and anxiety so they can find happiness and achieve their dreams.